Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A letter to my Lovebug

Dear Lovebug,
I am now 38 weeks pregnant and your time being snuggled inside me is now drawing to a close, so I find myself looking back on theses last 9 months. Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

May 24, 2009, this was the day I found out about you! It was a Sunday, your Daddy was at work. When he was on his way home I asked if he could go to the store to get a pregnancy test, so when he got home I could take it. I had been feeling different for a few days and had a feeling our lives were about to change.
Waiting for your Daddy to home felt like FOREVER! I'm sure it was a combination of feeling anxious,excited and having to go potty, because I had to wait until he got home. Before taking the test I was nervous and curious to see if my feeling was right. As soon as your Daddy came home I ran to the bathroom (Daddy was in the kitchen) Before I was even done pulling up my pants I saw a positive start to appear. I fell to my knees in the bathroom and tears started flowing and I started thanking God for you at that moment. I called for your Daddy, he found me on the bathroom floor, he already knew what that meant. He picked me up, and we hugged and kissed. We couldn't believe we were going to be PARENTS!

Later that night is when Daddy had already proclaimed you to be a girl! I couldn't wait to tell everyone that I was going to be a MOMMY! We decided to wait a few weeks until after our first appointment on June 11, 2009. The night before I couldn't sleep. I was sooo excited and nervous. I wanted to know everything was right on track with your growth. Daddy kept assuring me that everything was going to be perfect. When I laid down on the table I couldn't wait to see what you looked like. When you popped up on the screen all I could do was smile and stare. When I saw your little heart beating, I cried and started praying that you would continue growing healthy and strong. That was an AMAZING day. I will never forget it!

Now it was time to start telling people about you! I couldn't tell everyone fast enough. I was so excited and YOU were all I thought about!
My pregnancy has been very healthy and uncomplicated, which I am very THANKFUL for. I was nauseous up to about 16 weeks and could only eat string cheese, granola bars, pb&j and apple juice, but it was all worth it to have you growing inside me. When you had been inside me for about 17 weeks, is when I first felt a little thump, it was you saying "Hi Mommy, I'm here!". I couldn't wait to keep feeling you move and to have Daddy feel you move too!

We found out on September 3, 2009 that you were a little gir! Daddy was right! He always knew you were a little princess! I of course, had to go shopping to get you a few things!

Daddy finally felt you kick when I was about 22 weeks. He was so happy to finally feel what I had been telling him about. So for every night since then, we will lay in bed together feeling and watching you move before we go to sleep. It never gets old and we love having that family time together. Even now, as I am writing this, you have not stopped moving! You are an active one and I am sure you will keep me on my toes when you arrive!

We have had a couple 3-D ultrasounds which have shown your features in much more detail. We love to look at the pictures of you and guess if you will have mommy's nose or daddy's eyes.I guess we will know the answers to these questions very soon!

Knowing that you can decide to make your way into the world at any moment makes me question every pain, twitch or "sign"- could this be it?? We are ready for you. We have clothes washed, nursery set up, bags packed, car seat installed and all the little things you may or may not need. Even though we are "ready" for you, I still question myself "Are we REALLY READY?" Is anyone truly ready? Is anyone ever READY to start on the journey of raising a child? Probably not. All I know is that your Daddy and I will always do our best to make sure you are ALWAYS loved and well taken care of for the REST of our lives.

So, with these last few moments that I have you so close to me, I will savor every kick, roll and hiccup. Knowing that we will never have this time ever again, but we will be starting our journey together very soon. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that we will be taking our first breaths together- you as my Daughter and me as your Mother.

I love you my sweet baby.


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